I’ve been struggling since the election, as I think many people are.

This doesn’t feel like Democracy and this doesn’t feel like the country that I know.

Oh, I knew that racism and misogyny were a part of this country and I knew that they were strong but I didn’t realize how strong they were.

Oh, I knew that religion was a big issue and that the famous and FALSE war on Christianity was only in people’s mind and that the real goal was to use that as a distraction and as a rung in the so-called culture wars.

Oh, I knew that the politics of fear is an ever evolving tool in the Republicans tool belt. That Muslims, Mexicans, Hispanics, Latinos, people of color and even women are to be used as a weapon in that war.

Oh, I knew that Fake News was a thing and I knew that it had power.

Oh, I knew that there is an entire generation of Republicans (and more) that have used the Clintons as a handy icon for fear and hate.

Oh, I knew that the Republicans have developed an alternate reality that is very different than the actual facts within this country and around the world.

Oh, I knew that Republicans were intentionally suppressing the vote in every place and in every way that they could.

But I didn’t think that a man who was as intentionally mean and demeaning. A man who personified everything I wrote above, a man who is an admitted sexual assaulter. A man who has gone through multiple bankruptcies, has overwhelming conflicts of interest could become the President Elect.

I’m not surprised that the woman who got 2.7 Million more votes, was one of, if not the, most qualified candidates in this country to run for President would not achieve the Presidency but the wrongness of that answer is tragedy for this country.

I’m not surprised that the Republican FBI Director, who spent the 90s spearheading the effort to find something wrong that they could use against the Clintons, would step in to thrown a major wrench in the election.

I’m not even really surprised that none of this is being examined in depth.

I want to be surprised that the Republicans are not concerned that the Russians were messing with our election but I know that since it got them the results that they wanted they aren’t going to care.

I want to be surprised that our entire election was intentionally manipulated and twisted but I’m not.

I want to be surprised that President Elect Trump’s actions are being normalized.

I want to be surprised that President Elect Trump’s nominees are being normalized.

I want to be surprised that hate crimes are not really being covered.

I want to be surprised that fake news is getting some attention but with really a collectives shrug.

I want to be surprised that the media is looking at and then ignoring their role in this mess.

What I will not do is sit back and be silent.

My writing has been hit and miss since the election.

I keep starting and then stopping.

I don’t know how to make a real difference.

I want our Democracy to be real.

I don’t want to live in a country where minority rule is the answer and I’m not saying I want to move. I’m saying that I want my country to be a Democracy again

We’ve been dealing with minority rule – essentially – since 2000. The Republicans decision to be the Party of No after President Obama was elected has lead to obstruction that was unprecedented.

They have slowed or stopped anything, including the Supreme Court of the United States.

They made the Senate a place where 60 votes rather than a simple majority was needed for everything. You can bet that stops in January.

Now the Republicans have the chance to dismantle the social compact.

Now the Republicans have the chance to dismantle our government.

Now the Republicans have the chance to dismantle our Democracy.

Now we have sent the message that hate is the answer. That lies are the answer. That we shouldn’t believe what we see, what we hear, or what happens. I don’t know when the truth and facts are supposed to come into account.

I just know that we can’t live this way.

This is not making America Great Again – this is taking us into an America that isn’t America.

We must be active.

We must Resist.