Mum – Election Regret

It hit last night – really hit

I’ve known but I hadn’t realized

Maybe it’s the day’s ticking away to mum’s “anniversary”

Maybe it’s pain of two years without her but…

Then I realized

It’s another first and one that I hadn’t realized and one that breaks my heart

Mum and I agreed politically – especially in the later years

There was that one year – 2000 – when she fell for the hue for change – it led to two wars and she worked against Bush in 2004 and never looked back

She realized that change needs to be with the right person – trillions later you’d think we’d all know that…

2008 – I was in DC – Tim (boss – work husband) and I wandered around looking for the excitement

DC on election night is a ghost town

There are events but you needed tickets

But we went to the Willard for a drink

We went to the White House so I could shout – very softly – get the Hell out of Our House

Not the Going High that I usually try for but it really felt good

After a while we decided to call it an evening – bossman went to the company condo and I went to the Park Hyatt – government rate…

I turned on the TV and I watched and prayed (not traditionally – we don’t do that) – Tim called me silly – he was sure it was going for Obama – I was more nervous – I remember 2000

Mum and I were on the phone – we always were on election night

Then there was that magic moment – and they called it and we cried

We were so happy for the first African American President

We were so happy for that success

We watched and we cried

2012 was the same without the tears of that first moment when something new and incredible happened

Now it’s 2016 and our other 2008 dream could be realized and I realized

Pancreatic Cancer took her – it’ll be 2 years on the 15th

She didn’t live

She won’t see this

We won’t celebrate together

We won’t cry together

And all I can pray is that this happens

We break this ceiling

Mum will watch somehow

But my heart breaks with loss today

My heart breaks with a moment we cannot share

Please make it so

Do your part

Make this a celebration

Mum would want it

She was a beautiful soul and you’d want to make her happy


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