What Does it Take

Donald Trump says “look at these women” what do you think.. In speaking of his accusers…In other words Donald Trump is saying that the women are not attractive enough to be ” worthy” of his harassment …

Who says that???

Then you have the people who come out to “defend him” –  locker room talk, why did the victim’s wait? They are out for publicity. Let me tell you being drug through the mud is nothing you want to happen.

Blame the victim

Disbelieve the victim

What did she do, why didn’t she leave, what are the negatives in her life…

How many times do we have to go through this before the woman, the person of color is believed first?

I’ve had a man, a large and intimidating man, make passes, come in to my office and ask for a hug, or just come in and sit, not talking while I tried to work… had other women tell me he did the same to them, and, despite being in management, been able to do nothing. Even in a fairly progressive organization, you can be made to feel petty, or crazy, or oversensitive when you report such actions.

I’ve had to quit going to friends parties because someone who attended was always trying to get into my pants, quite literally, and would hound me for hours on why wouldn’t I… No, was never the right answer…

Why can’t no be enough?? Or one woman’s word (or two, or three)? How many is enough? For a powerful man like Bill Cosby – it required  what 50 or 60 to get peoples attention.

We are supposed to be making progress but there are times that I wonder.

Hillary Clinton is damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t.

Her husbands affairs are a constant topic as somehow relevant and that and her reaction seems to be far more important than Trump’s own affairs. He treated his wives awfully, having open affairs. In fact, there is more tape of Donald Trump saying nasty things about the women Bill had affairs with then ever we heard from Hillary. What you hear about Hillary, in her reaction to her husband’s affairs, is more the conspiracy than the reality, what she told her friend, that was later printed in a book. When you remember that Newt Gingrich was having an affair while he prosecuted Bill Clinton for lying about an affair. I wonder how Newt would have answered that question. Then you had Denny Hastert who was paying off young men he had molested years ago… These are the type of men who seek to hold the moral authority over Hillary Clinton, over you and me. Hillary Clinton isn’t perfect but none of us are.

And yes, that awful tape is getting coverage but so are the excuses. It was “locker room” talk – just those words make me sick. Trump’s own words made me sicker.

Listen to the “Pretzel Party” – they don’t deserve the title GOP anymore – there is nothing grand about this party anymore. They’ve been devolving for years. I don’t know where it locked in – was it when they started ignoring science as a way to protect the tobacco industry? Was it when climate change science began to show proof that we were destroying our world and they didn’t want to make the changes that would have made a difference and now must be taken more drastically to protect our world. Was it 9/11 and a run up to war that was based on lies. When it was considered almost unpatriotic to challenge President Bush and the war in Iraq. All I know is that Republicans are now twisting themselves into pretzels to support Donald Trump’s words and actions.

The thing is that the Republicans built this. Donald Trump is bringing into light everything that the Republicans have said and done over decades. It’s their hate, their racism, their misogyny, their sexism, their xenophobia, their Islamophobia, their attacks on the media, on science, on facts that Trump is speaking out loud.

How do you disprove a negative? In a situation that frequently happens one on one how do you prove that it happened? When you are paid less how do you get traction? When you can’t be heard in a meeting how do you get the point across? When you have to work through a 3rd party to do the best for your program how do YOU gain traction? When you are working in  a male dominated industry how do you break down the “good ol’ boy network”?

This whole election and how Trump has treated everyone – taken along with how Hillary Clinton is being treated is a singular long reminder of how much progress we haven’t made along with the progress that we are making.

This last week especially has left me feeling not just sick but almost dirty. How can there be so many people in this country who can support a man like Trump? That he was probably right that he could shoot someone at noon on 5th avenue and keep his supporters. These people are the same people who claim, or maybe its claimed, they believed in family values.

What would it take for them to believe a woman? What will it take for a victim to be given the benefit of the doubt? To have the assailants background be the question instead of the victims?

I want to hold out hope but I don’t know if I have it right now. I’ll get it back and I’ll keep fighting in the hope that my nieces don’t have to fight this fight but when the 17 year old has already had men groping at her… just the way Trump describes it’s hard…

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